10 Neck No Nos

Vivi asked me, for the purpose of science, to make a list of the 10 worst necks.  I found that hard to do at first, since I tend to try and forget yucky necks and it's mean to pick on people for their necks.  Not much you can do... nope I guess there is a lot you can do.

So, instead I composed this list of 10 neck no-nos.  Here are things that should never happen so that even if the neck is not on the level of my top 10 necks, at least it will never be on the list of 10 worst necks that must exist somewhere in my brain.



1.  Hairy Necks
I guess there is not much you can do if you are born with a hairy neck... except shave it.  And please do.

2.  Turtlenecks
Especially when wearing a suit as well.


What is this?  No, no, no, no!


Do you know what turtlenecks do for someone?  Nothing.  They hide a potentially good looking neck (and chin) and make them look like they have fat face...


Except I think that Jang Geun Suk is just getting fat face by the end of this drama... well anyways, the turtle neck is not helping him even if that is not the case.


Groan.


And no, no, no, no, please don't wear a turtleneck under a collared shirt!  Why would you do that?

3.  Trunk Necks
This is when the head is too narrow or the neck is just a thick as the face.  I just don't like that.


Kim Sung Soo doesn't have the worst trunk neck in the world, but it is a trunk neck.  As long as he dresses accordingly it can be hidden, but seriously that was not the case in Full House... ew.  Maybe if he just always had is collars unbuttoned he'd be ok... but not those flowered hippie shirts.

4.  Fat Necks, Fat Face, Weak Chins
I don't even want to post a picture of this.  Ew.  We all know what a fat looks like.  I don't just mean that accidental slug neck that happens to all of us especially in candid photos, but those are just a imitation of the real deal.  No, no, no.


Well, this is a mild example.  His face and neck just seem to blend together.  Weird.

As seen from the turtleneck pictures, fat face is also a no no.  Here is a non-turtle neck bad example.


That hair's not doing him any favors either.

Then the weak chin.  I know no better example than Lawyer Oh from Let's Eat.  This blowfish lady is one of my faves, and she's a good example of the weak chin no no.


5.  Short Necks
There really is nothing a person can do about this.  Sad for those who have it, and it certainly isn't the worst thing that can happen, but it's a thing.  Like this.


I love Xie Kun Da, I really love him a lot.  But his neck is just a bit too short.  It makes him look like he's shrugging all the time.  He tends to dress well enough to make up for it, and I love him enough to overlook that, but it is a trait that is less desirable.


Still, he's great, especially with the right clothing.  Watch him in Prince William, I'm loving it right now.

6.  Mullets
Unless you are David Bowie (and even then...) then no.  Just no.  That period of both Asian dramas and Bollywoods where that was a thing... (shudder).


This. No.


Please cut it... please?


I love his sexy hair, so just cut it in back... off the collar?  Please?

7.  Bad hair-dos (or hair-don'ts)
It doesn't have to actually be a mullet to be bad and neck ruining.  Men can have long luscious hair and still show their neck off well, or weird hair and make it work.  But some hair should just... no.



The rest that is pretty sexy, but why the mushroom hair?  WHY!?!?!

For more examples just google image "DBSK hair."  There is a lot of exampes of hair-dos and don'ts there.  That was around the time when that hair was a thing, and some styles can be pulled off and some less so... no matter how much we love them anyways (and I do love them!!!! but not some of their many hair styles).

8.  Neck beards
Keep it on the face, please.

9.  Weird Necklaces (or girly scarves for no reason)
I'm talking to you, Yul!  What the heck is that gross thing around your neck?


And that hair!  No!  That just made me hate you all the more (and I already hated you so much!)


Yeah... that thing happened too.  On top of all the Cat in the Hat ties... the leaf tie.  Oh!  What horrible neck abuse!

And then the little strip of a scarf with the deep V-neck.


Um... why?


Make it go away!  Also that hair.  No.  Give me your luscious locks again!  No more emo hair, dude!

10.  Neck Tattoos
Not the worst thing that could happen in the case of necks (not a fan of tattoos in general) but definitely not the best.  When the tattoo is on the neck it bothers me that much more.  Like in this G-Dragon photo shoot.


I was like "I hope that's not a real tatt" the whole time.  It just... no.  Not on the neck please!


But I still love you, but not on the neck!  Well... I guess he's sexy no matter what, but I hate that distraction from the beauty of his neck in this shot... rawr... no neck tattoos.

So here are the 10 Neck No-Nos.  After all this I need to look at my Top 10 Sexy Necks... or just a bunch of G-Dragon without neck tattoos pics to revive myself.  Mmmmm that will make it better.  Whew.

2 comments:

  1. This is your airplane SHINee K-pop friend. I was wondering how you felt about the current trend of chokers? Do they enhance or detract from the attractiveness of a man's neck?

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    1. Haha, hi! Chokers are a no for me. I don't really like them on anyone and especially not men. They look like they are, well, choking the person. Taking VIXX's Chained Up concept as an example, I really hated them, but they also kind of worked, since they were symbolic of the chains. But I still hated them. Chokers definitely get in the way when admiring the necks.

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