Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Epicness That Ended in What the Heckness: Lists of Night Watchman's Epic Fail

It's not often that a drama gets two posts dedicated to it, but I just have to say something about Night Watchman's Journal.  What.the.heck.

Even Sadam is laughing at this ridiculousness.

I mean seriously, what the heck happened?  The first two episodes were so epic, and then all the sudden it took a downward slope into the realms of cheesy lameness.  Did they forget how to create epic?
  
I'm watching this one with my little bro, and we are constantly just making fun of it and laughing at its silliness.  I mean, it's not the same kind of mockery as what took place during the final stages of Fall in Love With Me, but there is a significant amount of joviality that proves there is no way on earth that either of us can take this show seriously.  I'm pretty sure that the best ideas for this show were picked after one too many bottles of soju.

Here are some of the many (snarky) things that we said while watching:

My brother, imitating the blacksmith dude: "I know what is going on, but I won't tell you.  It's to protect you."

"This show should be called 'Sadam is bad-a cool.'"


"When did this couple even fall in love?  I don't remember that ever happening."


"And then miss stare off into space gets spacy again."

"I love how mad Sadam gets when people touch him."

"Oooh, I like the king with guy-liner."


"Look at them pose!  The night watchmen are the lamest things ever!"


"Remember how the first few episodes of this show were awesome?"  "Yeah"  "What happened?"  "Why did they suddenly become lame after they finally became Night Watchmen?"

"ㅋㅋㅋㅋ look at them trying to look so cool now that they are Night Watchmen."  "That was super lame."  "It was like watching someone pretend to do karate in a YouTube video."  "Yep."

"Why is it that the ghosts hear and see everything that's going on but never tell anyone until it's too late?"

"That little girl ghost is the best.  When are they finally going to tell us who she is?"

"I miss the Ghost of Tragedy. He was hot."

"And then Yunho is going to make a derp face and say the only smart thing this episode."

"Sadam is going to block that.  Yep.  He's bad-a."


"At least Sadam tells it like it is."  "Yep, he's the only cool person in this show."



"That bitca is crazy.  I thought she hated him last episode!  Why is she still so obsessed with him?"

"Do Ha's going to get caught again.  She is so nice, she's stupid."


"Does Yunho like the crazy bitca?"  "No, she's his cousin."  "Then why do I sense more jealousy from him about her than the main girl?"


"Rin is an idiot."

"Dude, the fake one is the one with make-up on!"  


"Why are you still getting tricked by the fake one!?!  She was trying to strangle you two seconds ago!"  "It's ok, Yunho is going to kill her.  Yep, called it."


"The king is so hot....  Ew!  What a greasy man!"  "You just said he was hot!"  "He looks hot, but he acts greasy!"


"No jeonha!  Don't trust him!  Aish!!!"

"Oh, look, Granny Shush Shush is back to cover up the many murders that her crazy sons/grandsons have committed."


"Ooh, look at all the dead court people.  It's a wonder there is anyone left alive in this palace."

"All the night watchmen ever do is sit around and talk."  "Yep, and it's mostly just the Blacksmith dude telling them that it's too dangerous."


"Well, that was overly easy.  Why is everything super lamely easy to defeat?  Sadam must have one ridiculous bag of tricks if they keep going through them this fast."  "Quick!  New idea!  That last one only lasted two episodes!"  "Let's make something up really quick so that we can pretend to explain something!"

"Don't even try to act like you're cool, girl."  "You think you're hot, you're not!"


"Oh great, the little sis became the space cadet after the big sis died."

"Still not sure how/when that happened."  "It was in the script, it must be true."

"Don't go! (singing) Baby come back!"

"Here, I fixed the compass." "A rock? I don't want a rock!"

"The blacksmith is totally Yoda.  'You must not go!'"


"Slow clap for Yunho!"

"No!!!!! Yunho!!!!! You were the only one I liked!!!!!! No, Jeonha, no!!!!!!! Andwae!!!!"

"What was the point of making him die like that?"  Shrugs.

"I smell... The Prince." "Why would he just stop in the middle of a spell?" "It's a trap!" (said like Admiral Ackbar).


Lizabreff (watching a bit over our shoulders): "What!?! That just seems like a bunch of mumbo jumbo."
Us: "This whole show is mumbo jumbo."

"'All you can do is yell.' Haha. Totally called that line."


"Sadam: she just slapped the girl, she might slap me!" "Sadam hates getting slapped. It's a capital offense."


"You're grounded." "Like father like daughter."

"I'll kill you!... I'll be back... Again..." (of course in the Terminator voice.)


Lizabreff: "My mom said that with all the bad writing and acting, it looks like Jung Il Woo is overacting horribly."
Us: "I think the only direction he ever gets is: shout that person's name."

"SADAM!!!"  "DAEGUN!!!!!"  "Haha, Sadam just made fun of him... hahaha."


"Wait.... why is he suddenly back?"  "I thought there was a price to pay?"  "What just happened?"  "Something else that they didn't bother explaining."  "How anti-climatic."  "It was probably that little girl ghost again.  They never tell us anything when she's involved."


"Wait... Sadam's the bad guy? Does this mean that he's going to lose in the end?" "Yep." (throwing myself back with a resigned sigh.) "What's the point of finishing this?"


The only reason we even finished this show is because we sort of MST3K'd it mercilessly, in this manner.  If it weren't for the fact that my little brother is so funny, I really don't know if I would have enjoyed it that much.

We even made lists of the coolest, sexiest, and stupidest people in the show, because they are totally not who they should be based on the plot of the show... but are the only way you can enjoy this show in all reality.

List of Coolest People in the Show:

1. Sadam- he is hot, bad-a, honest, and super sexy (in face and voice).  Also he is the only competent person in this show... ever.  Plus, he totes looks like David Bowie.


2. The king- super crazy, but that's why we love him.  His multiple personalities are the best, and even though he's cray cray and greasy, he is super hot.  Sad that both his personalities are super easy to manipulate... in totally different ways.


3. Yunho (what even is his real name?  Moo Deok?  No, it's just Yunho)- he makes derpy faces and can't act super well, but let's be honest, his character is second smartest in the show.  His fighting is cool, he is super blunt, honest, and bold.  Also, he's not going to put up with the crap that the dumbo prince brings.


4. The little girl ghost- She is the only one with any sense at all.  Seriously.


5. The Inn Ahjumma- She is pretty smart and spunky.  I like her a lot.


6. Blacksmith dude- even though he keeps not saying things when he should, and saying too much when we just want people to shut up, he is pretty bad-a and manly.  He is definitely cool.



List of Sexiest People in the Show: Male

1. Blacksmith- because his body... how shallow of me.


2. Prince Wolgang- I guess that Jung Il Woo will have to be up high on this list, because he is the reason I'm watching this show.


3. Sadam- is so so so sexy.  I love his voice especially.


4. The King- I honestly love the king.  If he weren't so bad and crazy he might be number one... he is so hot.  Especially with that guy-liner.


5. The Ghost of Tragedy- man that ghost was gooooood looking.


6. Yunho- he is sexier than I want to admit, but it really depends.



List of Sexiest People in the Show: Female

1. The Cray Cray Obsessive Bitca- even though she's cray cray, stupid and an obsessive bitca, my bro says she's the cutest in the show.


2. The older sister/leader of Maerenbang aka Spacing Out girl- Little Bro says she's quite pretty.


3. The Younger Girl that Works at the Inn- we don't even know why she's there, but she's funny and pretty.


4. Actual older sister- not really his type, stupid girl who started everything, but still pretty.


5. Are there any more girls in the show who aren't old?  I guess we can put Do Ha on the list, even though she is mostly just dorky looking all the time.  She might be a worse actor than Yunho.



List of Stupidest People in the Show:

1. Prince Wolgang- I seriously just want to hit him sometimes.  He's just one emotional mess!

Once again, Sadam mocks the emotional Rin.

2. The prime minister- he's an idiot.  I don't even know how else to say it.


3. The Dowager Queen- or Granny Shush Shush, she makes the stupidest choices for the stupidest reasons.  I really don't know why you would make that decision hoping for any different outcomes, because that's just plain nonsense.


4. Do Ha- She's so dumb.  I really feel like everything goes over her head.  That was ok in the first couple of episodes, but it seems like she's getting stupider as time goes by.

How astute! That's the smartest thing you've said this whole show.

5. The cray cray bitca- anyone that obsessive is stupid.


6. The other two ghosts- they seriously can't do anything, can they?

They're just there.  Staring.

It was a graceful slope of a decline into the realms of stupider and stupider, each new crazy plot twist more stupid than the last.  Especially when how they deal with them just makes everyone look weak and pathetic.  Sigh.  Oh well.  I miss those good old days when no one liked each other, before they fully started the plot... or at least before they threw in the first plot twist.


Oh the simpler days!  At least making fun of it was still entertaining.  I almost couldn't wait for the next week to see how much stupider it could get.  Because it was that hilariously stupid.

3 comments:

  1. Haha. I am so glad then that I didn't watch this show. Haha. Your post though was really entertaining. Oh K-drama. It is so cray-cray sometimes. Why do we keep watching I wonder sometimes.

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    1. We really wondered that as we finally finished the last few episodes tonight. It was so boring! It reached a whole new level of lame that made it not even fun to make fun of, we were just waiting for it to be over. I really think it would have been more tolerable if it had only been 20 instead of 24. Heck, make it 16 and I would have probably loved it... if it were also written and acted better... haha. At least David Bowie (Kim Sung Oh) was consistently awesome... until his lame demise.

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    2. Yeah, when I see a K-drama is 20 episodes, or 24, I think, oh dear. It might go really cray-cray. 16 episoders seem to work better. I think that we should have more 16 episoders and fewer of the longer ones. Of course some of the longer ones still work, but yeah.

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