Sunday, October 18, 2015

The Final Installment of My Adventures in Japanese Candyland!

Everyone, this is probably my last time reviewing the items of Japan Crate for you.  My free 3 month subscription is now up, and I am too poor to actually buy one for myself, as much as I want to.  It was super fun to do though, and maybe someday I will treat myself to something like this again.  It's totally worth it.

This month seemed to have a lot of chip type deals, and a lot of savory options, which is pretty good.  There was also some of the weirdest shiz that I have eaten to date.  WEIRDNESS!  At least I went out with a bang.  My last free Japan Crate. Sniff. I was looking forward to everything but that raisin flavored candy. Ew.  But that wasn't the worst of it.  The worst was much more.

Rich Cheese Scones

Here we have Rich Cheese Scones. Think Cheetos with a slight sweet after taste. Only the cheese tastes better and a bit more real foodish. Yeah.

Grape Gummy Ribbon

Surprisingly bouncy. It's like eating a delicious piece of grape flavored rubber. It makes your mouth into a bounce house. You don't quite know what you're eating, but it tastes good. Very good grape flavor. Like a rubbery flavor explosion.

Tohato Carmel Corn

Puffy Cheetos meets caramel popcorn. It really was basically the puffs of Cheetos covered in caramel powder instead of cheese powder. Very delicious brown sugar flavor. A little peanut aftertaste. There were some peanuts at the bottom of the bag.

Dorachoco Chocolate Mini Pancakes

Tastes like something Hostess would sell, only tastier. It has that sort of flavor though. Literally these are mini pancakes with a chocolate filling. Not the best chocolate filling, but decent. Melted in you mouth a bit.
Rum Raisin Soft Candy

I didn't eat this one, for obvious reasons.  I let Lizabreff do it.  (I actually ate one and my face was hilarious.  It was so nasty.)  I just don't understand why they would give me the Rum Raisin and not the Strawberry option.  Why would they even tell me that there was a strawberry option if they weren't going to give it to me?  Not fair...

"Lizabreff here to report on the unspeakable candy (a.k.a. Rum Raisin Soft Candy). These are soft and chewy, kind of like chewy mentos. The outside has a tart fruity flavor, and when you bite into it, there is a fairly strong creamy rum flavor with a hint of raisin."

VC 3000 Lemon Drops

So, one of them was a packet of Vitamin C Lemon Drops. They taste like lemon cough drops. Yep, that's pretty much what they are. Perfect, since everyone else is getting sick these days.

Poifull Soda Beans

What the heck!?! They look like a jelly bean, but you put 'em in your mouth and chew and they're not. They're like a super soft gummy candy masquerading as a jelly bean. Soda flavored. Like, it has the fizz and everything. So weirdly good. Weird. Good.

Gyutan Umaibo Stick

Mmm, beef tongue flavored corn puffy stick.  A puffy corn tube strongly flavored with a salty beefy flavor. It was good and fun to eat, but a little overwhelming in how strong the flavor was. Pretty sure I've seen peeps eating these in anime and dramas though.

And last, but not least...

Chitto Soda DIY

Another interesting Do It Yourself. In fact this might be the grossest thing I've ever experienced. It is barf nasty texture wise.

Step 1. Feeling like a chemist. Fill cup with water. Add mysterious powder and stir. Add to molds.

Step 2, add mysterious pink powder to molds. Stir. Feeling like a wizard in potions class, as it foams and turns into pasty jelly, like cool and gross science.

Part 3, birth of the Uruk-hai. The nastiness is revealed. Adding mysterious blue powder to other cup of water, the mixture becomes a nasty blue cup of snot. This is "glazed" over the pink jelly brain lumps and the mess is done.

This is supposed to be mochi. No, this is not mochi. This is soda flavored snot covered balls of blandly sweet baby foodish paste. It was the worst texture experience I've ever had. I fed some to Lizabreff. She resisted and then wanted to spit it out immediately when she put it in her mouth. I offered some to Curdy. She stared in horror and ran away. It looks like alien eggs and feels even worse in your mouth. Seriously, I wanted to barf after eating 1 of them (I ate 5). Wanting to gag just writing this. So flippin' nasty.

So there you have it.  My adventures in Japanese Candyland are over for now, but at least I got a slew of wonderful and utterly horrible experiences.  I don't think I will forget the nightmarish horror of the Chitto Sody DIY anytime soon.  I still feel a little gaggish looking at the pictures again.  Whew.  But then, it wouldn't be an adventure if there wasn't something crazy too.  Well, hope you enjoyed it.  That is all.


  1. :D Heee! Thanks for writing. This makes me want to invest in some crate experiences.

  2. "I wanted to barf after eating one of them (I ate 5.)" made me laugh unreasonably hard. WHY on Earth did you keep eating snot-covered brain balls?

    1. Haha, I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. It was hilarious as it was gross. I think Lizabreff's disgust kept me going. It was worse after I stopped and thought about it.