Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Kpop for the Brokenhearted

Sometimes, I wonder why I bother to like real boys, because that somehow just ends in hurt.  But then, so does most Kdrama crushes, either through relationship envy, too many feels, or just dying of frustration at the stupidity of drama peeps' choices.  However, real relationships are good, and at least we have Kdramas and Kpop to get us through those times when the inevitable hurt comes... as is does more than we'd like.  I hear sometimes it works out, but this time was not that time, I guess.

I find myself once again getting over a real life boy, maybe one of the hardest ones yet, because he was one of the best ones yet.  (He's even watched some Kdrama episodes with me, in seriousness, so that seemed like a winner).  Anyways, he's leaving so not much I can do about that, unless fate brings us together or I chase after him dramatically, buying a last minute plane ticket and running through the airport to stop him, etc.  It might just work.

Instead, I find myself drowning my sorrows in an unhealthy dose of sad kpop.  Is there such a thing as an unhealthy dose?  Only maybe there is, because I not only listen to a ton of sad songs, but I listen to them on repeat.  It works, ok!  These are the songs that speak to my wounded soul!

While any item on this list can be listened to on repeat to bring the needed comfort, this list in succession can also be a journey of melancholy music to give a well rounded sad time emotional thing.  Yeah.  I'm typically not good with emotions, so that's why I let the music do it for me, and I move on.

1. Evanesce- Super Junior

This could actually be the only song on this list, because I have literally be listening to it on repeat for two weeks now.  There is not only a beautiful tune, we have beautiful Super Junior singing it, and the lyrics are just what I need, especially that shouting chorus of: "Don't know why! Tell me why!"

It also helps that the most applicable line is also sung by my bias: "Why can't I have that person and that love?"  It's a valid question.  It sucks when things don't work out.

2. It Hurts- 2ne1

Right about the same time as you are singing "Don't know why" you might also be pounding your chest (since that is completely necessary) and singing "Appa! Appa!"  This song is perfect for singing along to with all the "it hurts."  It is also a good representation of the denial phase, where you just can't comprehend the end because it hurts too much.  I think it would hurt less if I had Park Bom's hair though.

3. Window- G-Dragon

I usually lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling (or sometimes window) while listening to this one.  It's definitely the song for the stage when you decide to accept the inevitable and just try to move on.  But not before a lot of emotional lying on the ground staring while this song is playing.  And can I just say that G-Dragon's hair is super sexy in that video?  Don't love the turtleneck, but the rest of the outfit is great.  But that hair = rawr.

4. Why Did I Fall In Love With You- DBSK

Then comes the stage when you wonder why you bothered liking that person in the first place and this song is perfect, especially with Kitty (Jaejoong) wailing those high notes.  And their hair is not the only thing sad in this MV.  There's that little drama type deal to make us even sadder, if we watch the MV instead of just listening to the song... on repeat.

5. If I Were You- 2ne1

Then there is always that "what if" stage when we imagine if we could have just done that one thing different, or if we had just had one chance, or whatever.  I love how this song is jazzy, belty, and totally good for karaoke, which is an important part of getting emotions out for me.  This principle is taught extensively in Kdramas as well, when people sing it out in the norebangs.

6. Eyes Nose Lips- Taeyang

Then you reach the point when you're done with them being stuck in your head, or still hanging around you after rejection, or whatever, and you just want them and the pain to go away.  This song is so good.  It's also a great karaoke song, and it just says what needs to be said.  I also really love the Tablo cover because that man just is a brilliant lyricist.  Those words speak to my soul too.

"Time to sever my brain from my heart and soul." "They say that time flies, but you keep breaking it's wings."  Slow clap for that awesomeness.

7. Missing You- 2ne1

And right after you Eyes Nose Lips it to get them out of your head, all the sudden you are missing them again.  Go figure.  Boo sad cycle.

I didn't think that 2ne1 would be featured that heavily on this list, but it's true.  They have some really good songs for getting the sad brokenhearted feels out.  Also, they are strong power girls in voice as well as attitude.  They are my number one karaoke choice.

8. Blue- Big Bang

Sometimes you just need a good depressing song.  This is about the prettiest one out there.  Classic melancholy.  At this time, you just need to get the rest of the sad out.
9. Crooked- G-Dragon

I also like to respond to sadness with anger.  This song is actually more sad than it is angry, so it works perfectly.  It shows the anger of sadness just perfectly, especially with G-Dragon's spot on acting.

10. Haru Haru- Big Bang

Then we finally cast of the shackles of this bittersweet, melancholy, pity party type deal with moving on with life.  Day by day, it really doesn't have to be this dramatic, but I love Big Bang.  I also love how peppy this song feels despite it also feeling sad and desperate.  It gives hope... I guess.  I don't know.  It's just a good closer.  An alternative to this, that has the same feeling of yeah I'm sad, but whatever is Who You, also by GD, or the 2ne1 song, Happy.

There are several variations of this list, since it must be tailored to fit the sadness.  Such as more angry songs, or more peppy songs, or just I don't care songs.  Just don't do utterly depressing songs, like Loser by Big Bang, because that is not good for this mood.  I love that song, but only when I'm feeling okay about life.  Monster- Big Bang, Love Song- Big Bang, Fiction- Beast, 1004 (Angel)- BAP, Rain Sound- BAP, Midnight Blues- Super Junior, I Couldn't Do It- 4Men, Severely- FTISLAND, and Goodbye My Love- Ailee are more examples of songs that could potentially be on this list, but it all depends on the mood.  Whether I need to sing more, be more depressed for a while, or just whatever.

I also just listen to these songs constantly because they are all so good.  But sometimes you have to mope it out with a sad playlist so you can be happier faster.  I'm already that way, or I wouldn't have been able to write this post.  Despite how sad I am about the boy, I would never have been able to share it if I was so brokenhearted and so on.  Mostly, I just wanted to write a post about how obsessively I am listening to Evanesce lately (which is completely that boy's fault) and how it's become a joke at my house, because joking makes the pain go away.

So, yeah, that's the list that has made this break up type deal thing I went through easier.

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